PROMIS Counselling Clinic

[Deleted]

Jude Oxley

"Of course." She replied, "Just the other morning, my boyfriend stayed the night and we made breakfast together.”

Jude Oxley blinked a faint smile that twitched in the corner of his mouth. So, the plot thickens slightly? The more people in on this, the merrier he would be. It was just another person to inflict pain on when the time was right. He wondered how much her 'boyfriend' would appreciate watching her mental health go down into tubes, when she realizes she was chatting up her ex-husband's murderer.

"Honing it on that morning," Jude began, cocking his head to the side, glinting at her calmly. "Did you find yourself completely in that moment with your boyfriend-" Who he would need the name of for his file, but for now he was curious. "or was your mind flashing back to memories of your ex-husband?"

The answer would show Jude Oxley just how much Natalie still felt connected to Lucian in the past. Not that he truly cared about her breakfast or her memories for that matter, but treading lightly to what he needed would be a process.

[The Exodus]

Natalie Blackwood

Natalie was thankful Damien couldn’t hear how loosely she was playing with the word ‘boyfriend’. She could imagine him calling her a hypocrite. Telling her he had higher standards, a better grasp on relationships. And perhaps it was true that he did, but Natalie didn’t care. It would get Doctor Oxley off her case if she had a boyfriend and was well adjusted.

"Honing it on that morning," Doctor Oxley said, tilting his head to the side. "Did you find yourself completely in that moment with your boyfriend or was your mind flashing back to memories of your ex-husband?"

“Of course I was completely in—“

Natalie paused. She remembered, before disrobing, thinking of Lucian for a moment. Remembering that he had once found her body beautiful—stretch marks and all. She remembered thinking of him again while Myron told her that she had edged out a swivel chair in competing for his attention, and how she had been beaten by Ashton in the competition for Lucian’s attention. There’d been a running log of comparisons throughout the night. And suddenly, Natalie felt rather guilty. She clamped her lips shut.

“A comparison was inevitable, you understand,” she said. “I was married to the man for twenty four years.”

Even still, she’d spent much of the time comparing Myron to Lucian, but very little comparing him to the man she’d cheated on Lucian with.

“Have you ever been married, Doctor Oxley?”

[Deleted]

Jude Oxley


“Of course I was completely in-“

Jude lifted his chin as Natalie’s sentence died. Her first impulse was defense, understandably so, but Jude Oxley felt somewhat accomplished that he had managed to slither his way through a system where he could portray someone who many fought down their defenses for. A rationale Jude had not made it a point to see a therapist long ago in his teens, when it had been highly urged.

“A comparison was inevitable. You understand I was married to the man for twenty four years.”

He knew very well. He had done his research.

“Have you ever been married, Doctor Oxley?”

Questions were welcomed, he had advertised that. Jude blinked tranquilly, not making a move but smiling cordially with tight lips. It took a great deal to disconcert Jude Oxley and cause him to break a sweat. He was always equipped, and that was why he figured he would need a wedding band. Jude had purchased one, and chose to make it an important piece of his character’s life. Being a husband meant something to society. It meant more experience, passion, and involvement with the social aspect of life. Jude had made the decision to marry himself long ago if he were going to be married to anyone. He was the only one who deserved what he had to offer. Jude Oxley was not a husband, a lover, or a friend. A sexual being though was entirely another story. To show that he had been married at one point would earn some sort of subconscious approval from the people around him, and for Natalie, perhaps make her feel that he understood her more so than she would think if he were a single man. Jude had covered his bases.

Jude’s eyes lightened, slowly making his way up from the chair and around to his desk. On the top drawer is where he had kept the golden wedding band, and he brought it around to show her, leaning against his desk with a leg propped up.

“I was married, yes.” He told her, taking a long look now at the piece of jewelry. Jude Oxley had not the imagination to conjure up a woman that he would spend his life with; the thought made his saliva go a nasty taste on the insides of his cheeks. Instead, he had researched videos, magazines, and the like to make up this person.

“Rosalind, her name was.” Jude said, looking over at Natalie. “She died three years ago by a drunk driver.”

The story would gain sympathy, perhaps. A lover’s loss was always tragic. Natalie Blackwood had to have felt that remaining loss still, whether she owned up to it or not.

Jude Oxley continued to look at Natalie Blackwood. Inspiration and a spark that boiled in the pit of his stomach brought him to his next creative leap as he examined her eyes thoughtfully, feeling something that he would think about tonight when he pleasured himself, remembering this image as she looked back at him. He had never looked into someone’s eyes like this before, as if he were empathizing. It was phony, but something about that fake look made him actually feel something inside. Jude had not had a proper image of what Rosalind would look like. It was a difficult task for him to sit down and really plan out the perfect woman for him when he enjoyed the company of no one. Now, looking at Natalie, in a way that she could never tell from how he carried himself outwardly, he had the perfect picture. It was Natalie Blackwood.

It was poetic, wasn’t it, the attraction blossoming to his obsessions old flame. Perhaps, that’s what caused this sudden sharp feeling. Jude was sitting across from Lucian’s tainted love- his hand me down.

“I can empathize with your thought process, Mademoiselle Blackwood.”

Jude Oxley went back to the desk, taking the time to suck in a deep breath as he turned his back toward her, lolling his eyes ceiling ward for a second, until he turned to present himself in the same serene and friendly way he had when she had stepped through the door.

Still, his thoughts remained.

Natalie…

[The Exodus]

Natalie Blackwood

For a moment, Doctor Oxley said nothing. Instead, he smiled his unfathomable and tight smile. Natalie’s left foot tapped slowly as she tried not to betray too much impatience. She suspected he wasn’t married. And if he wasn’t, he certainly couldn’t understand—or even imagine—what it was to be divorced. Doctor Oxley rose and retrieved a box. From the box, he pulled out a single, golden band, which he brought to display to Natalie.

“I was married, yes,” Doctor Oxley said. “Rosalind, her name was. She died three years ago by a drunk driver.”

A little stab of sympathy stung Natalie’s chest. She said nothing however, but her lips twisted to a frown and she looked from Doctor Oxley to the ring. She wondered why he didn’t wear his ring any more, if it was too painful. She sometimes still wore her wedding ring while out in public. It warded off unwanted attention and sometimes it made her feel somehow still tethered to her ex-husband in ways she felt comforting. A crutch, she guessed it was, to make excuses for being alone and to look less pathetic when alone. She wondered if Doctor Oxley rejected connection to the departed. It was a very different circumstance. Very different, indeed.

“I can empathize with your thought process, Mademoiselle Blackwood.”

“Can you?” Natalie murmured. She shook her head. “No. Your loss was tragic, doctor. You had no choice in the matter and I’m very sorry about your Rosalind. But my marriage wasn’t ended by a drunk driver or an act of God. I got a divorce. A divorce I wanted. Therefore, unlike you, I have no right to mourn my losses. Again, I’m sorry.”