101 Questions: Set #1

[The Exodus]

Here are 101 questions for you to answer in character. Have fun learning more than you ever wanted to know about the characters on RW! (My goal is for there to be a new set of these every three/four months to play with. So enjoy for a limited time only!)

1. What is your name? What does it mean?
2. Does your name suit you? If not, what name would you have given yourself?
3. What do you do for a living?
4. Is it what you wanted to do as a child? If not, what did you want to be and why aren't you doing that instead?
5. Tell me about your family. Your parents, your siblings, your kids, whoever else seems relevant.
6. What are your views on God?
7. Who is the last person you texted?
8. Do you have any special talents? What are they?
9. What is your relationship status?
10. What were you doing 10 years ago?
11. What would you like to be doing 10 years from now?
12. When is your birthday? Do you celebrate?
13. What is your favorite holiday tradition? (For any holiday)
14. If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?
15. What is your favorite type of music?
16. What are you most afraid of?
17. Do you act your age? What age do you act?
18. Are you comfortable with the way you look?
19. Have you done something this week that you regret?
20. Quick! Name three things that are awesome about you!
21. How do you feel about children?
22. Coffee or tea?
23. What do you like to do on your days off?
24. What is your favorite food?
25. When was the last time you were in the hospital?
26. Do you donate to charity?
27. What is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you or that you have ever done for someone else?
28. What kind of driver are you?
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?
30. What is your favorite season?
31. Have you ever played sports?
32. Is there anyone in your life that you would die for? Who are they?
33. How do you feel about social media?
34. How do you feel about animals? Domestic or otherwise?
35. If you had endless resources and endless time, what would you do?
36. Choose one: being extremely intelligent/educated, wealthy, and good looking, but only having one friend or being clueless, broke, and average looking or worse, but being loved by many?
37. If your life was a book, what would it be called?
38. If you could read the ending of that book, would you?
39. What is the worst lie you've ever told anyone?
40. What is your favorite movie of all time?
41. Are you keeping any secrets right now? Spill! (up to 3 secrets)
42. Describe your apartment/house.
43. What is your favorite color?
44. If you could be reincarnated after this life, what would you want to be and why?
45. What do you wear to bed?
46. For one million dollars, could you give up electronics for a year?
47. If your house caught fire, what would be the first thing you'd grab?
48. Which "one" of your friends are you? (IE: the loud one, the leader, the funny one, etc.)
49. What advice would you give your 16 year old self if you could?
50. You from the future has arrived to pass along an important message. What do you hope that message is?
51. Do you tend to save money or spend it?
52. Congratulations! You're going to be a mother/father! What is your gut reaction?
53. Bad news. You have six months to live. Who do you tell and what do you do?
54. Who do you most admire? Why?
55. Do you have any chronic disorders/illnesses? What are they?
56. If you could get away with one murder -- no legal or social repercussions -- would you kill someone?
57. In a world where you didn't exist and never had existed, what would be different?
58. Do you drink? If so, what's your "signature" drink?
59. There's that chore/errand you secretly like. What is it?
60. Would you say that you're an organized person?
61. Can you dance?
62. What are your plans for tonight?
63. Do you follow laundry instructions on the tags of your clothing?
64. If you were stranded on a desert island and you could wish for anything (except a boat), what would you wish for?
65. Who has most influenced your life?
66. Are you a night owl or a morning person?
67. What is your favorite fantasy?
68. Have you ever been mistaken for a celebrity?
69. What is your ring tone?
70. Are you selfish?
71. Do you sing in the shower?
72. Would you ever try an online dating service?
73. Describe the worst day you can imagine having.
75. What never fails to cheer you up?
76. Do you use emoticons/text speak when online or texting?
77. When was the last time you prayed/meditated?
78. Do you work out?
79. What is your favorite outfit?
80. Would you ever play matchmaker for your friends?
81. Do you prefer fiction or non-fiction?
82. Who is your best friend?
83. Would you say that you're adventurous?
84. Can you swim?
85. Do you prefer steak or seafood?
86. Do you have a "type"?
87. If the zombie apocalypse happened tomorrow, do you think you could survive?
88. Do you eat your vegetables?
89. How do you feel when guests stop by your home unannounced?
90. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
91. If you could host a dinner party and invite any five people (living, dead, famous, or not), who would you invite?
92. Are you politically active?
93. Do you have any enemies?
94. Would you rather get one big/expensive present or a bunch of smaller presents?
95. Do you have any superstitions?
96. What is in the top drawer of your desk?
97. Are you allergic to anything?
98. How do you fight? (logic, physical, sarcasm, etc.)
99. What is your biggest pet peeve?
100. What turns you on?
101. Of what achievement are you most proud?

[The Exodus]

101 Questions with Tristan Vidal

1. What is your name? What does it mean?
My name is Tristan. It means “riot”, “tumult” or “sad”. I knew it meant “sad”, but the others I had to look up.

2. Does your name suit you? If not, what name would you have given yourself?
Today? A little. But I’m not usually “sad”. I guess it’s funny, a funeral director named “Tristan” since I’m in the trade… I would have named myself something like… Oh, hell. I don’t know. Probably still “Tristan”.

3. What do you do for a living?
I’m a funeral director.

4. Is it what you wanted to do as a child? If not, what did you want to be and why aren't you doing that instead?
No, it’s not. I wanted to be an artist. And I still do. I still am. Sort of.

5. Tell me about your family. Your parents, your siblings, your kids, whoever else seems relevant.
I was adopted by my uncle Laurence when I was almost nine years old. My parents… had problems. A lot of problems. My mother dropped out of contact with her family when she was twenty-two. Entirely. And a couple years later, she met by sperm donor – um. You know, my father or whatever – and got pregnant with me. I don’t know if things were good between them before I came along, but all I know is that things weren’t good while I was there. Cyril – that was his name, my… well, you know – used to smack my mother around. And then when I was maybe five, he started on me. My mother had taken another job and I guess he needed a spare punching bag when she wasn’t around. He burned me a couple times – held my hand to the stove top for what felt like forever, and told my mother that I’d touched the stove and that it was her fault for not being home to teach me any better. I didn’t really have feeling in my left hand for a few years after that. Mostly he smacked me for being rude or loud or just there. Back of the head, across the mouth. But the worst was when he broke my arm. I’d broken a lamp and then he broke my arm. I was eight and I had school in less than an hour, so he took me there instead of to the ER with another excuse. And then… well… there were a lot of meetings. I went to the nurse, to the doctor’s, to a psychologist. I got a social worker named Clarice and foster parents named “Sir” and “Ma’am” until they tracked down my uncle in Paris. I took his last name when I was twelve, my uncle Laurence.
He’s okay. I mean, he’s great for raising me. But he didn’t like kids. Still doesn’t. We used to fight a lot. He still thinks my hair is too long and he worries a lot. He worries that I’ll get arrested for tagging someday or that I’ll file for bankruptcy eventually when people stop dying or something. He works with computers… got into the dot-com boom when the internet was still new or something. So he prefers coding to conversation, logic to art, and he gets irritated if you talk to him while he’s typing. But he cooks well enough, plays piano sometimes, and used to take me to the Louvre on weekends. Now on weekends, I bring him dinner and we act like we have a meaningful relationship. He has a lot of computer programmer friends, who don’t laugh at my jokes and who ask questions like, “You aren’t married yet? I’m surprised, Tristan” in snooty, old people voices. Laurence doesn’t ask those questions – probably because he isn’t surprised at all – and instead asks me how work is going. He doesn’t actually like hearing about my job, but he says he’s proud of me and he smiles and he pretends that he’s happy with how I turned out.
I still see my mother sometimes. Rarely. She finds me. When I was eleven, she showed up at my school and asked me to get in the car with her. I barely recognized her, except we have the same face. She looked healthier then than I’d seen her ever and I got in, thinking it would be alright. It wasn’t. Laurence formed a search party and he found us sitting on a bridge by the Seine. We were eating pretzels from a street vendor and dangling our feet over the side. And when he called me to him, he sounded scared. He spent maybe twenty minutes coaxing my mother off the ledge. And now I do that kind of stuff for her. She shows up at my apartment and I let her stay for a couple days. Sometimes, she has bruises on her. Nasty ones. I don’t know where they come from, because she promised me that she doesn’t see Cyril anymore. She never lets me take her to a hospital, though. Instead, she asks me about my art and if I have anything on paper that I’m kind of proud of, I give it to her and she smiles. But she doesn’t ever stay.
I don’t know what happened to Cyril. Not really. I know that he and my mother split when I was eleven. He’s probably still in Marseilles. I hope he is, anyways, and that he stays there.
I don’t know if I have siblings, either. They’d be half-siblings, they’d be Cyril’s. I don’t want a thing to do with them if they’re real.
The thing is, my family has problems. I know that. And I’d be lying if I said I loved them despite them. I mean… I love Laurence. And my mother, after a fashion. But Cyril can rot for all I care… But, look. What I mean is… when you grow up, you pick your own family. You have friends who fill in the gaps and someday, you get married and have kids and try not to f*ck up as badly as your parents did. And that’s kind of where I’m at now. Not the “married with kids” part. But the part where I’ve got people in my life that I love and who I consider my family. Who I’ve chosen to be my family.

6. What are your views on God?
Most funeral directors are religious. I’m not. But I’m not an atheist. I feel like God and I are pals in a way. I do what he called me to do, provide a service He can’t really do, since he’s busy running the cosmos. But do I go to church? Only for funerals these days. I can’t remember the last wedding or baptism or regular service I attended.

7. Who is the last person you texted?
Either Gwen or Solange. Let me check… Nope. Torben. Huh. I texted him at 3 AM.

8. Do you have any special talents? What are they?
Gwen thinks my art is beautiful; she’s the only one I know who does. I mostly paint murals on the sides of bridges and the backs of warehouses; I also sketch the people that come through my funeral home. I have a file of dead people I’ve drawn, which sounds creepier than it is. It helps me figure out what I’m doing for restoration, especially if the face is really damaged.
I’m an okay musician, too. Mostly, I just screw around with instruments. I went for quantity over quality on that one and I have a drum set, a bass guitar, and an acoustic guitar. I sing sometimes, but not in front of people. Not live people, anyways. But, like, when I’m working late, I hook my iPod up to the speaker system that connects the front desk to the embalming room and I sing. I went through a music phase where I was going to be a musician or something, but I get uncomfortable on stage.

9. What is your relationship status?
Single.

10. What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was eighteen; I’d just moved to New York City for mortuary school. I didn’t speak English very well at the time and I was subletting a room in an apartment in Brooklyn. My friends were all goths and punks studying mortuary science or art, except one guy who was a French foreign exchange student and who was studying international law and was dating my girlfriend’s roommate. He and I were pretty close for a while, but once it was clear we had nothing in common besides being French and being homesick, we kind of stopped talking. I had a girlfriend then, too, named Lilli. It was short for “Lillian”, but she told everyone it was short for “Lilith” because that’s the kind of thing American goth girls do, I guess. She was a costume designer and makeup artist and she was also really loud and pushy. I loved and hated her for that, because I let her kinda smack me around – which I guess she thought was hot, but actually gave me a panic attack the first time – but also because it meant that I could just go with the flow and let her lead. Sometimes she practiced stage makeup on me and there are these truly awful pictures of me looking like a wannabe David Bowie. Lilli really liked me in stage makeup, though. This is embarrassing as sh*t… but I’d wear it when she wanted me to because the sex was better. Messier, since stage makeup is gross and greasy and gets everywhere. But, well… You do stupid things when you’re eighteen. Especially if there’s a girl involved. Let’s see… I mentioned mortuary school… Which I loved. I only ever failed one test there and that was because my English was really bad. Like, so bad I got body parts mixed up on the test. My professor asked me to redo it in French and I didn’t miss a single question. After that marked the first time in my life that I was top in the class at something.
I also spent a lot of time going to concerts in seedy, airless bars downtown. Usually, it was better when I went with Lilli’s friends than when I went with my own friends, since they were more artistically inclined as a general rule and they knew the staff or the band or whatever and could get us in for free. College seems like a totally different life than the one I’m living now. It’s kind of funny, kind of sad. Really surreal.

11. What would you like to be doing 10 years from now?

Let’s see… I’ll be thirty-eight… Ideally, I’d like to have settled down, had kids, whatever. Because if I haven’t done any of that by thirty-eight, that means I probably won’t ever do any of that. I don’t know… I know that I’ll still be a funeral director, though. Which I’m looking forward to. I love my job.

12. When is your birthday? Do you celebrate?
August 23rd. Not really. I used to, but it feels stupid now to be excited about getting older.

13. What is your favorite holiday tradition? (For any holiday)
Okay. So I have a new favorite Christmas tradition: Christmas at the Fontaine-Blaus. Gabriel scared the crap out of me when he showed up with a knife, but otherwise, it was a blast. Best Christmas I’ve had in years.

14. If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?
I want a vacation so badly. I don’t know where I’d go, though. I’ve never really taken one. I kind of want to go to, like, Mexico or something. Not a resort or whatever, but like… to a city to see the art. It’s mindboggling and macabre and bright colors… It’s awesome. That’s what I want. An art tour of Mexico.

15. What is your favorite type of music?
You’re the person who asks parents which kid is their favorite, aren’t you?

16. What are you most afraid of?
The future. Not accomplishing anything with my life. Rejection. The usual suspects, I guess.

17. Do you act your age? What age do you act?
I think I act my age, but then I remember that I tag buildings in my spare time. So somewhere between sixteen and thirty. Let’s average it and say 23…?

18. Are you comfortable with the way you look?
Resigned more than comfortable. I could be in better shape. My hair is thinning out faster than I want it to. I’m also a little too tall sometimes. When I was younger, I thought I was awkward looking, but looking back, I should have enjoyed the closest thing to a ‘good-looking phase’ I had. But it is what it is.

19. Have you done something this week that you regret?
What have I done that I don’t regret? Let’s see… We’ll start with Monday when I used a continuous stitch on a decedent and then it came undone when I moved the body back to the freezer and I had to start over. I also regret ordering Thai food on Wednesday. There are more, I’m sure, and plenty of other things I’ve done this week that I don’t know if I regret yet.

20. Quick! Name three things that are awesome about you!
1. I am a responsible pet owner.
2. I have a calming presence. It’s the suit. In it, I’m the funeral industry’s equivalent of Superman.
3. I can laugh at almost anything.

21. How do you feel about children?
I really like kids. I volunteer with a bunch of at-risk kids; it’s an art program. It actually started out as a punishment for tagging, but now I do it because I enjoy it. I like spending time with the kids. They’re really fantastic artists and a lot of them are real survivors. They just need someone to listen to them.
I want kids of my own someday. Not anytime really soon, but, well… While I’m alive and still young enough to be there for them. I worry that I’d be a sh*t parent, though. I cuss a lot. And I’ve never really seen good parenting before, so it’s kinda a different thing.

22. Coffee or tea?
Caffeine, please.

23. What do you like to do on your days off?
Paint; volunteer at the school. I don’t really have days off, so much as days when nobody dies at inconvenient times.

24. What is your favorite food?
I like simple, versatile foods. Potatoes. Eggs. Things I can make quickly and eat quickly, too.

25. When was the last time you were in the hospital?
I’m ALWAYS in the hospital. Usually it’s to pick up bodies for transport. But last time I was there was actually because I thought I broke my foot. I didn’t, but they still charged me.

26. Do you donate to charity?
When I can, yeah. I mean, I volunteer my time more and I put money into the art program I was talking about, but otherwise… when I can.

27. What is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you or that you have ever done for someone else?
My ex bought me a Madagacar hissing cockroach. It’s way more romantic than it sounds.

28. What kind of driver are you?
I’m a great driver, actually. I can parallel park a hearse. Can you?

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?
Yes. Not doing that again unless there’s a good reason.

30. What is your favorite season?
Fall. Summer is the worst; winter is also really busy (the holidays are a high point for suicides, so we’re always booked). But fall is balanced.

31. Have you ever played sports?
Hah. I was the kid who had a sketch book and wore all black to pep rallies.

32. Is there anyone in your life that you would die for? Who are they?
Yes. Gwen and Torben; they made me feel like I had a family when I most needed one. They still do.

33. How do you feel about social media?
We have a website for the funeral home. Otherwise, I’m not all that tech savvy. Vestiges of teenage rebellion; my uncle is a tech junkie. So I’m not. Just to be contrary.

34. How do you feel about animals? Domestic or otherwise?
I have a pet cockroach. I like animals of all kinds. I just don’t have the time to take care of anything bigger.

35. If you had endless resources and endless time, what would you do?
Probably buy my friends really expensive gifts. And catch up on things I miss otherwise. Sleep, reading, dating. In that order.

36. Choose one: being extremely intelligent/educated, wealthy, and good looking, but only having one friend or being clueless, broke, and average looking or worse, but being loved by many?
Seeing as I’m clueless, average looking, broke, and loved by a couple people already… I see no reason to change a thing. Unless you mean really, really good looking and really, really intelligent. And richer than Bill Gates. Now we’re talking.

37. If your life was a book, what would it be called?
“Mistake-making and Undertaking: The Life of Tristan Vidal”

38. If you could read the ending of that book, would you?
No way, man.

39. What is the worst lie you've ever told anyone?
I lie a lot. You have no idea how often I lie. I could be lying right now and you wouldn’t even know it…

Okay. I actually don’t know. I think it was when I told Laurence that I wasn’t tagging anymore. That was probably really bad.

40. What is your favorite movie of all time?
Ooh. Um. Mel Brooks anything.

41. Are you keeping any secrets right now? Spill! (up to 3 secrets)
1. I have a box full of Torben Blau art. I have not told Torben this because I don’t want to make things awkward.
2. I might be crushing on Solange. As in my secretary. But I haven’t told her because I’m not sure if it’s a crush or if I just want to know her better. I don’t want to make things awkward.
3. I’m still tagging buildings. I haven’t told my uncle or the school I volunteer with because I don’t want to – you guessed it – make things awkward.

42. Describe your apartment/house.
It’s… new. Lots of really big windows. So it’s sunny. Um… I forget where the furniture is because I’m almost never there.

43. What is your favorite color?
Right now I really like red. I go through color phases.

44. If you could be reincarnated after this life, what would you want to be and why?
A rich, handsome, and successful artist. Because I wanted to be that when I grew up, but that didn’t work out so well. Maybe next time around?

45. What do you wear to bed?
Clothes. I don’t mean to be vague. But I sleep in my clothes regularly, because I get calls in the middle of the night to transport bodies. I usually remember to take my shoes off. When I feel like being comfortable, though, I have these dark blue pajamas that are really soft. I don’t remember when I got them, but they’re awesome. They’re also a magnet for interruption. The second they’re on, my phone is ringing with an emergency.

46. For one million dollars, could you give up electronics for a year?
Maybe…? I don’t really know… I could definitely use a million dollars, though.

47. If your house caught fire, what would be the first thing you'd grab?
My car keys, my wallet. Habit, not sentiment.

48. Which "one" of your friends are you? (IE: the loud one, the leader, the funny one, etc.)
The socially awkward one? No… That’s actually Torben.

49. What advice would you give your 16 year old self if you could?
I know it seems like a good idea, but when Marcus tells you that you won’t get caught throwing eggs at your physics teacher’s house, don’t believe him. Her husband is taller than you and will tackle you in the road so that you taste gravel. When you go in for your first kiss with Zephyerine Toussaint at Marcus’ party, don’t worry about what you’re doing or if she’s had better. You’re her first kiss too, you dipsh*t. Close your eyes, enjoy it. When Laurence tells you that you should get a job, the proper answer is not a sarcastic, “But I make four times minimum wage dealing meth”. He will search your room needlessly and he will not stop giving you that weird look for the rest of your life. You will be thankful for not getting the tongue piercing. Don’t roll your eyes at me; I’m serious. Because you will eventually have a girlfriend who has a lip piercing and a tongue piercing and it will hurt the first time it snags on your lips. If you had a tongue piercing, too, it would be more embarrassing than a ride to the orthodontist for locked braces. Which you and Zephyerine Toussaint will have two months after that party because Laurence will force you to wear braces for six months while he still has legal rights to your teeth. And yes, that will be the end of that relationship. You will be sad when that happens. Don’t tag her name on that bridge. You know which bridge. Don’t. Because you will ride home in a cop car and it won’t be bad *ss. It will be pathetic and Laurence will take away your sketch book for three weeks.

Basically, just use common sense. I know you won’t get an ounce of it for another year or so. So I’m helping you out, buddy.

50. You from the future has arrived to pass along an important message. What do you hope that message is?
“We have a jetpack. It’s bad *ss.”

Or, you know… any indication that I’m happy, healthy, loved and loving is good, too.

51. Do you tend to save money or spend it?
I don’t mean to spend it. But things come up.

52. Congratulations! You're going to be a mother/father! What is your gut reaction?
Right now?! But… How…? I can’t breathe. Now is really not the time for this… I said I wanted kids before I was 38… not before I was thirty… Breathe, Tristan. Breathe.

53. Bad news. You have six months to live. Who do you tell and what do you do?
I don’t know who I’d tell. Nobody, I guess. I don’t want to be treated any differently. Of course, it might slip out if someone pushes my buttons too hard…

54. Who do you most admire? Why?
Gwen. She’s so kind, so funny, and so accepting that I think she might be an angel. Not with wings or anything stupid. But she’s just… She’s like a second mother to me and she didn’t have to be.

55. Do you have any chronic disorders/illnesses? What are they?
I’m a pretty healthy guy for the most part. I have insomnia. And not in the cutesy “lol I never sleep” way. I mean, I cannot stay asleep for longer than three hours at a time. It shows. It really shows. Yesterday, I put salt in my coffee. And I drank it.

56. If you could get away with one murder -- no legal or social repercussions -- would you kill someone?
Maybe. I’d save the “get out of jail free” card on this one, though. I don’t think I could actually use that power.

57. In a world where you didn't exist and never had existed, what would be different?
Um… Well. There would be less graffiti in the city. There would be no Vidal Funeral Home. Which means that Jacqui would have never come to work there. Which means that when she passed away, Solange would have probably gone back to Cambridge? Um. Laurence would have been happier; he probably wouldn’t have gone completely gray at forty. I don’t know.

58. Do you drink? If so, what's your "signature" drink?
I prefer beer or wine… simple tastes. But sometimes, I order other things at bars to look more… whatever. Impressive, I guess. I’m so over martinis and whisky, though. Bad combination.

59. There's that chore/errand you secretly like. What is it?
I love cleaning out Isolde’s terrarium. It’s reassuring to knowing that she has a nice place to call “home” while I’m at work.

60. Would you say that you're an organized person?
No. That’s why I hired a secretary.

61. Can you dance?
Not particularly well, but… yes. I dance okay.

62. What are your plans for tonight?
Go home. Take a bath, now that I have a bathtub that’s the size of Lake Victoria. Brush teeth; sleep. I don’t want to do anything else.

63. Do you follow laundry instructions on the tags of your clothing?
For my suits, yes. For my other clothes, no.

64. If you were stranded on a desert island and you could wish for anything (except a boat), what would you wish for?
Food and fresh drinking water.

65. Who has most influenced your life?
Laurence. If he hadn’t taken me in, I don’t know what my life would look like.

66. Are you a night owl or a morning person?
Neither. I’m awake most all day, as needed.

67. What is your favorite fantasy?
You just had to go there. All right. Fine. So… like… maybe this is roleplaying--? But meeting up at a club with my girlfriend – you said fantasy, so just pretend for a second that I have one – and anyways, meeting up with her and picking her up, like as if we’d never actually met and then taking it to the car or her place or mine or a hotel or whatever and pretending like this our first time together. Because then it’s like, out of all the guys at the bar, she still picked me. Damn. That sounds really dumb out loud. Did you want me to say leather? Or a three-way? I can say that instead. I won’t mean it, but I can say it.

68. Have you ever been mistaken for a celebrity?
Nope.

69. What is your ring tone?
“Bolero” right now. It’s annoying as hell, but it was free.

70. Are you selfish?
Everyone is a little selfish. But I’m not more selfish than the next guy, I don’t think.

71. Do you sing in the shower?
Every day.

72. Would you ever try an online dating service?
I don’t know. Maybe.

73. Describe the worst day you can imagine having.
Okay… Oversleep, forget my suit at the dry cleaners, hearse dies, I have a hangover, Solange and I get into a fight and she quits, I get called into the morgue and find out that Gwen and Torben are dead. Then when I finally get home, I burn my hand while cooking and while I’m treating it, dinner goes up in flames and engulfs my apartment. I make it out alive, but am forced to watch the utter destruction of my life. I go to sleep at the funeral home, but a burglar breaks in and kicks my *ss and steals everything of value. No one finds me until morning.

I have an overactive imagination.

75. What never fails to cheer you up?
Painting.

76. Do you use emoticons/text speak when online or texting?
Only sarcastically.

77. When was the last time you prayed/meditated?
Two days ago. I prayed that the organist at a morning service would stop playing because they were aggravating my hangover.

78. Do you work out?
Sort of? I go running sometimes. I lift things… mostly bodies and caskets, but it’s not like I bench press them.

79. What is your favorite outfit?
Hands down my Batman t-shirt and lucky jeans. They are lucky. When I wear them while tagging, I don’t get caught.

80. Would you ever play matchmaker for your friends?
Maybe? Not right now, though.

81. Do you prefer fiction or non-fiction?
I read more non-fiction, but I prefer fiction.

82. Who is your best friend?
Ooh. Either Gwen or Torben. Torbeline.

83. Would you say that you're adventurous?
A little. There are some things I’ll never try, ever. But most things, I’ll give a shot once.

84. Can you swim?
Yes.

85. Do you prefer steak or seafood?
Steak. Seafood is gross.

86. Do you have a "type"?
I used to. I was into goth girls when I was in college and then after; fit, but not exactly skinny, either. Curves. But my exes don’t physically resemble each other all that much. Personality wise, too, they were different.
Nowadays, though… I don’t care that much about looks. I mean, I care. I want to be with someone who I find attractive, obviously. But mostly, if a girl is into me, that’s hot. If she’s smart or can make me laugh, even better. And if she’s all three… I’m a goner.

87. If the zombie apocalypse happened tomorrow, do you think you could survive?
Probably. I’ve seen enough zombie movies to know what works and what doesn’t.

88. Do you eat your vegetables?
Not as often as I should.

89. How do you feel when guests stop by your home unannounced?
This happens more often to me than people realize. I’m used to it.

90. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
A very friendly introvert.

91. If you could host a dinner party and invite any five people (living, dead, famous, or not), who would you invite?
Torben, Tim Burton, Alfred Hitchcock, Salvador Dali, and Mel Brooks. That sounds entertaining.

92. Are you politically active?
No. Is Sarkozy still president?

93. Do you have any enemies?
Probably. Everyone does. Officer Maisel kind of hates my guts.

94. Would you rather get one big/expensive present or a bunch of smaller presents?
The second one. Buy me paints or brushes or food and I instantly like you. Buy me a car or a piano and I feel way too awkward to react properly.

95. Do you have any superstitions?
Fewer than you’d think. And they all kind of revolve around clothes. I have a lucky pair of jeans that ward off police when tagging. I have seven suits – one for every day of the week – and when I put them on, I’m a different person than when I’m not wearing them.

96. What is in the top drawer of your desk?
Gum. A couple pens. A can of red spray paint from Christmas. Usually my cell phone.

97. Are you allergic to anything?
I told my ex I was allergic to cats so she wouldn’t get one; I didn’t want it to terrorize Isolde. But I’m actually not allergic to cats. Dust, though, a little bit. And mold. Definitely allergic to mold.

98. How do you fight? (logic, physical, sarcasm, etc.)
Sarcasm, usually. But that’s not just for fighting.

99. What is your biggest pet peeve?
I hate having things repeated to me unless I ask. I usually heard you the first time.

100. What turns you on?
Lip biting, running fingers in each other’s hair, a sense of humor, catching the right girl’s eye across the room at the right moment… There are other things. Nothing too weird, I don’t think. I mean basically, if a girl is flattering me or touching me or looking at me that way… What do you expect me to feel? Bored?

101. Of what achievement are you most proud?

Never having to file for bankruptcy. *knock on wood* Every year, I get so thrilled when the numbers line up and I get to stay in my apartment and keep the funeral home running and still have a little bit left over.

[The Exodus]

101 Questions: Santiago Ortiz

1. What is your name? What does it mean?
Santiago. It means Saint James – patron saint of Spain.
2. Does your name suit you? If not, what name would you have given yourself?
My cousin calls me “Diego”. It used to suit me better. When I was younger.

3. What do you do for a living?
If I told you, I’d have to kill you. *smirk* I’m a private investigator.

4. Is it what you wanted to do as a child? If not, what did you want to be and why aren't you doing that instead?
No. I wanted to be a stage manager. I did that for a while, but life had other plans.

5. Tell me about your family. Your parents, your siblings, your kids, whoever else seems relevant.
I am the only child of Carlos and Sancha Ortiz. My father worked on the docks; my mother was a seamstress. They were quietly in love with one another. Rarely affectionate, but fiercely loyal. They didn’t have any other children; my mother passed away from ovarian cancer when I was sixteen. Before she died, she was a relatively quiet woman. She did most everything my father asked of her. She cooked, cleaned, raised me, and worked to put me through school. She never raised her voice – unless my father was being pig-headed. And believe me, he was. He was a machista. I don’t know the English for that; maybe there isn’t an equivalent. But he was the head of the household and nothing you could say could change his mind once he made it up. My mother could change his mind though. After she died, he became the quiet one. Not that he was particularly loud to begin with. But sullen after her death, withdrawn.
My cousin Carmen lived in our apartment building – downstairs from us, actually. Her mother and my mother were sisters and when she was born, she came to live with us. For a few years, I thought she was my sister. I was too young to know better. Carmen is reckless, irresponsible, and one of the funniest people I know. She’s always up for a laugh. Sometimes I think she’d do anything for one. She’s also got a mile-wide vindictive streak, so don’t cross her.
Her father, Luis, was my godfather. I got my middle name from him. He taught me to fight with my fists and how to play sports. He instilled in me a love for futbol and for boxing. His wife – my aunt – Teresa was a great cook, but inherently bossy. She must have pushed my mother around when they were children. She kicked Carmen out of the house intermittently, which is how she came to live with me when I was twenty and she was eighteen.
I have other cousins, other aunts and uncles. But they don’t matter much. My family has changed shape since I left Malaga. I guess you could say that I’m a family man… but not in a conventional sense. My new family comprises of the Gardunas, who I lead. If you haven’t heard of them, that’s fine by me. I’d prefer to keep it that way.

6. What are your views on God?
God f*cking hates me. That’s how I know He’s there. He’s constantly making my life harder than strictly necessary. I don’t believe in luck; you create that. But I believe in God as pulling the strings no matter how hard you try to make things work out in your favor.

7. Who is the last person you texted?
Reese.

8. Do you have any special talents? What are they?
I’m a great swimmer and a decent fisherman. Someday I dream of owning my own boat. Nothing’s stopping me from doing it now, except that I have bills to pay on my apartment.

9. What is your relationship status?
I’m in a no-strings attached relationship with Georgette Duguay. Except there are always strings attached. But it serves its purpose for now. And if I think I have to, I’ll make it exclusive.

10. What were you doing 10 years ago?
Living in Spain. Working as an assassin. I was twenty-two and making four times what I made as a stage manager.

11. What would you like to be doing 10 years from now?
I don’t plan that far in advance.

12. When is your birthday? Do you celebrate?
January 9th. No.

13. What is your favorite holiday tradition? (For any holiday)
I dislike holidays in general. I do enjoy the open bar at the city wide galas, though.

14. If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?
Anywhere tropical and far away from Paris and the cold.

15. What is your favorite type of music?
Opera. I’m not being sarcastic. I prefer Vivaldi to Mozart and Wagner to Vivaldi.

16. What are you most afraid of?
Nothing.

17. Do you act your age? What age do you act?
Don’t know. Don’t care.

18. Are you comfortable with the way you look?
Of course. No point in worrying about it. I grew into my face a long time ago. And I stay in good shape.

19. Have you done something this week that you regret?
Regret is stupid. There are things you do and things you don’t.

20. Quick! Name three things that are awesome about you!
1. I have the most accurate aim with a Smith & Wesson of anyone I know
2. I’m a loyal friend.
3. I’ve cultivated a good relationship with the local police, so I guess you could say I’m… persuasive.

21. How do you feel about children?
Skinny ones are a bit chewy.

22. Coffee or tea?
Coffee. Black.

23. What do you like to do on your days off?
Spend time with my friend Reese. I don’t see her often enough. Otherwise, on my days off, Georgette comes over and we treat ourselves to a little therapy session.

24. What is your favorite food?
My mother’s paella, which I cannot for the life of me recreate.

25. When was the last time you were in the hospital?
I don’t trust doctors. Last time I was there was a year ago and only because Reese was there.

26. Do you donate to charity?
No.

27. What is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you or that you have ever done for someone else?
I don’t have time for romance. I bought my ex girlfriend a pink gun, once, and gave her lessons so she could protect herself. That was something.

28. What kind of driver are you?
Fine. I prefer my motorcycle.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?
Frequently.

30. What is your favorite season?
Summer. I’m not built for the cold.

31. Have you ever played sports?
Yes. I used to box. Not professionally, but with my uncle. He was professional and he kicked my *ss.

32. Is there anyone in your life that you would die for? Who are they?
If there is, I wouldn’t tell a strange quiz on the internet.
(The answer is Reese Cordova. And I probably will die for her if anyone ever finds out and gets the bright idea to use that to his or her advantage).

33. How do you feel about social media?
Can’t stand it.

34. How do you feel about animals? Domestic or otherwise?
I have a dog. She’s the only animal I really like. Animals don’t really like me as a whole.

35. If you had endless resources and endless time, what would you do?
Quit the gang and retire.

36. Choose one: being extremely intelligent/educated, wealthy, and good looking, but only having one friend or being clueless, broke, and average looking or worse, but being loved by many?
Choice A. I only have one friend I trust anyways. And you can never go wrong with endless knowledge and money: they’re both power.

37. If your life was a book, what would it be called?
“If you write a book about me, I’ll kill you”

38. If you could read the ending of that book, would you?
Yes.

39. What is the worst lie you've ever told anyone?
It’s a toss up between “I’m not in a gang” and “I’m fine”. Neither are ever true.

40. What is your favorite movie of all time?
I don’t like movies. I don’t have time for them.

41. Are you keeping any secrets right now? Spill! (up to 3 secrets)
1. I’m not only in a gang; I’m the gang leader.
2. I bought a box at the Opera Garnier, which I haven’t used yet.
3. That’s enough secrets for now.

42. Describe your apartment/house.
Small. Comfortable. Bedroom and bathroom upstairs; everything else downstairs. Great view; private patio. Sparse decoration.

43. What is your favorite color?
Dark brown.

44. If you could be reincarnated after this life, what would you want to be and why?
I don’t want to be reincarnated. Once is enough for me.

45. What do you wear to bed?
Sweat pants. No shirt.

46. For one million dollars, could you give up electronics for a year?
Yes.

47. If your house caught fire, what would be the first thing you'd grab?
My Smith & Wesson.

48. Which "one" of your friends are you? (IE: the loud one, the leader, the funny one, etc.)
With the Gardunas: the leader. With Reese: Santiago.

49. What advice would you give your 16 year old self if you could?
I know Gisele is the best girl you’ve ever known. She will always be the best girl you’ve ever known. Get over it. And don’t trust Lorenzo. Don’t piss him off, either. Just keep your nose clean.

50. You from the future has arrived to pass along an important message. What do you hope that message is?
“I’m still alive.”

51. Do you tend to save money or spend it?
Save. I’m a really frugal person.

52. Congratulations! You're going to be a mother/father! What is your gut reaction?
Sh*t.

53. Bad news. You have six months to live. Who do you tell and what do you do?
I’d tell Reese. And then I would give up the gang. If I’ve only got six months anyways, I might’s well get out.

54. Who do you most admire? Why?
I don’t believe in having role models at my age.

55. Do you have any chronic disorders/illnesses? What are they?
Never been diagnosed with anything. It’s been suggested to me that I have PTSD or something. That’s bull. I’m fine.

56. If you could get away with one murder -- no legal or social repercussions -- would you kill someone?
Yes.

57. In a world where you didn't exist and never had existed, what would be different?
A lot more people would be alive.

58. Do you drink? If so, what's your "signature" drink?
Yes. On an easy night, Voll Dam beer. On a hard night, whisky on the rocks. Jack Daniels, usually.

59. There's that chore/errand you secretly like. What is it?
Taking Lola for a run.

60. Would you say that you're an organized person?
Yes.

61. Can you dance?
Yes.

62. What are your plans for tonight?
Take inventory; a new shipment came in this morning and I have to count it. Then I’ll go home, have a beer, and call it a night.

63. Do you follow laundry instructions on the tags of your clothing?
No.

64. If you were stranded on a desert island and you could wish for anything (except a boat), what would you wish for?
Supplies to build a boat.

65. Who has most influenced your life?
Lorenzo Reyes – for better and for worse. Mostly for worse.

66. Are you a night owl or a morning person?
Night owl.

67. What is your favorite fantasy?
Being a free man. No criminal record; no gang attachments. Just free.

68. Have you ever been mistaken for a celebrity?
I’ve been mistaken for a celebrity’s PR manager.

69. What is your ring tone?
It’s on silent.

70. Are you selfish?
Very. Who isn’t?

71. Do you sing in the shower?
No. I don’t sing.

72. Would you ever try an online dating service?
No. I don’t like the internet.

73. Describe the worst day you can imagine having.
Reese being captured by Las Netas.

75. What never fails to cheer you up?
Reese. Lola. A summer night with sangria on my patio.

76. Do you use emoticons/text speak when online or texting?
Never.

77. When was the last time you prayed/meditated?
Two years ago.

78. Do you work out?
Yes.

79. What is your favorite outfit?
Jeans. Motorcycle boots. Black t-shirt. Leather jacket. Simple. Efficient.

80. Would you ever play matchmaker for your friends?
No. That wouldn’t work with my friends.

81. Do you prefer fiction or non-fiction?
Non-fiction. If you aren’t learning something, don’t read it.

82. Who is your best friend?
Reese Cordova. Did I answer this?

83. Would you say that you're adventurous?
Yes. Very.

84. Can you swim?
Like a shark.

85. Do you prefer steak or seafood?
Seafood.

86. Do you have a "type"?
Leggy. Usually brunette. I prefer redheads, but don’t date them as often.

87. If the zombie apocalypse happened tomorrow, do you think you could survive?
Yes, but I wouldn’t want to.

88. Do you eat your vegetables?
Sure.

89. How do you feel when guests stop by your home unannounced?
Irritated. There are few people I make exceptions for.

90. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
Introvert. I’m not a people person.

91. If you could host a dinner party and invite any five people (living, dead, famous, or not), who would you invite?
I don’t host parties.

92. Are you politically active?
I don’t really care about law making that much.

93. Do you have any enemies?
Oh yeah.

94. Would you rather get one big/expensive present or a bunch of smaller presents?
One big, expensive present. Get it over with so I only have to say “thank you” once.

95. Do you have any superstitions?
I don’t think so, but most people would disagree. I cross myself, despite not being a practicing Catholic, when I pass a church or a cemetery. I don’t say certain things in a theatre, ever. I don’t date redheads because they bring nothing but trouble.

96. What is in the top drawer of your desk?
Cash box. Letter opener. Stapler. Pencils. Pens. .38 caliber Smith & Wesson.

97. Are you allergic to anything?
People.

98. How do you fight? (logic, physical, sarcasm, etc.)
Dirty.

99. What is your biggest pet peeve?
People who ask too many questions.

100. What turns you on?
Being allowed to lead – but not without a little struggle. Clever double entendres.

101. Of what achievement are you most proud?

I’ll let you know when I do.

[The Exodus]

1. What is your name? What does it mean?
Madeleine. It means “the best f*cking cookie/cake ever” and “That Catholic church with the Greek columns”. Also, something about Mary Magdalene. I don’t know.

2. Does your name suit you? If not, what name would you have given yourself?
I go by “Mad” sometimes, but I really do love my name; it sounds good no matter who says it.

3. What do you do for a living?
I am the chief choreographer and ballet mistress of the Moulin Rouge.

4. Is it what you wanted to do as a child? If not, what did you want to be and why aren't you doing that instead?
Look, babe. I did what I wanted to do. I was a prima ballerina for a couple years. Why I’m not anymore is really, really not your beeswax. So don’t you worry your pretty, little head about it.

5. Tell me about your family. Your parents, your siblings, your kids, whoever else seems relevant.
Only child; single mother. Her name is Blanche and we don’t speak anymore. Very tragic. Very dull. I’m bored already. I’d rather tell you about Aryeh. He’s my mentor. And he’s the feistiest, most bad *ss eighty-one year old you’ll ever meet.

6. What are your views on God?
I’m Jewish. So I believe in one God, who prefers us to you.

Okay, so you caught me. I’m new to the Judaism thing. But it makes as much sense as any other religion anyone has thrown my way. And, frankly, if it makes Aryeh happy, that’s all that matters. I hope God is like Aryeh. You know, a take no prisoners kind of guy, who is actually really funny, charming, and sweet. And old. Really old.

7. Who is the last person you texted?
Alexander; cancelling rehearsals.

8. Do you have any special talents? What are they?
Do I have special talents? Give me a night, sweetie, and I’ll show you. I’m also the best dancer you’ll ever meet.

9. What is your relationship status?
Available.

10. What were you doing 10 years ago?
Dancing with the London ballet.

11. What would you like to be doing 10 years from now?
Relaxing, beach side, while a hot cabana boy rubs me down with tanning lotion. Can I do that now, actually?

12. When is your birthday? Do you celebrate?
It’s in May. And I celebrate every day, so… *shrugs* I guess I do.

13. What is your favorite holiday tradition? (For any holiday)
Hanukkah was a blast. I learned how to make latkes.

14. If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?
Any beach. Anywhere.

15. What is your favorite type of music?
I love electronica. I love tango. I love jazz. Anything I can dance to. Just give me a beat.

16. What are you most afraid of?
Being alone. When Aryeh passes away… I will be.

17. Do you act your age? What age do you act?
A lady never acts her age. Or something to that effect. I will forever be twenty-seven.

18. Are you comfortable with the way you look?
Hell yes. I’m gorgeous.

19. Have you done something this week that you regret?
I don’t have time to waste regretting things.

20. Quick! Name three things that are awesome about you!
1. My body. I don’t mean that in a “Ooh, I’m so sexy!” way. Which, I mean, I am. But have you seen my legs? Those puppies are strong. I worked hard to be dancer-fit.
2. My sense of humor. You might not like it, but I love it.
3. My winning personality. Or something like that.

21. How do you feel about children?
Can’t stand them. They’re sticky and whiny and self-absorbed little beasts.

22. Coffee or tea?
Coffee.

23. What do you like to do on your days off?
Hit the club scene. Go out dancing – the not choreographed type. Maybe do some shopping. People-watch in cafes.

24. What is your favorite food?
Chicken…? Avocados…? I don’t know.

25. When was the last time you were in the hospital?
The other day; it was for Aryeh.

26. Do you donate to charity?
Should I?

27. What is the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you or that you have ever done for someone else?
I’ve been proposed to several times… To be honest, it was more romantic at the time than it is in retrospect.

28. What kind of driver are you?
Fine, I suppose. I don’t drive often.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?
Hell yes.

30. What is your favorite season?

Summer, if I can get out of the city. Fall, if I can’t. I prefer the low-tourism times of year if I have to be trapped here, but really, I belong on some tropical isle.

31. Have you ever played sports?
Dance is a sport.

32. Is there anyone in your life that you would die for? Who are they?
Maybe Aryeh? But he wouldn’t want me to. So, maybe not?

33. How do you feel about social media?
Love it. I love seeing people’s pictures online.

34. How do you feel about animals? Domestic or otherwise?
Not a fan. They’re too much work, too much responsibility.

35. If you had endless resources and endless time, what would you do?
Continue doing what I’m doing now: have fun.

36. Choose one: being extremely intelligent/educated, wealthy, and good looking, but only having one friend or being clueless, broke, and average looking or worse, but being loved by many?
Option A. What’s the point in being “loved” when you can be “feared”? Kidding. But, for real, though. As social as I am, I don’t have a whole lot of people I’d call “friends” as it is.

37. If your life was a book, what would it be called?
“Dancing Through Life: The Madeleine de Chandon Story”

38. If you could read the ending of that book, would you?
I’ll bet it’s exciting. Gimme the book!

39. What is the worst lie you've ever told anyone?
“No, you were great. Honest.”

40. What is your favorite movie of all time?
I was a Fred Astaire fangirl as a kid. So anything like that.

41. Are you keeping any secrets right now? Spill! (up to 3 secrets)
Nope. I don’t believe in keeping secrets.

42. Describe your apartment/house.
Perfect green walls; gorgeous, crisp décor. Lots of dark wood. Comfy leather couch; kitchen well stocked with booze. In other words, heaven.

43. What is your favorite color?
Purple.

44. If you could be reincarnated after this life, what would you want to be and why?
A male quetzal. Seriously. Check out their tails. Talk about being one fabulous b*tch.

45. What do you wear to bed?
Nothing. I actually have a collection of men’s shirts I prefer to wear, honestly.

46. For one million dollars, could you give up electronics for a year?
Nope. I am reliant on my cell phone. And my iPod.

47. If your house caught fire, what would be the first thing you'd grab?
My pointe shoes. They were custom made.

48. Which "one" of your friends are you? (IE: the loud one, the leader, the funny one, etc.)
The shameless one, the flirt. Whatever.

49. What advice would you give your 16 year old self if you could?
Don’t give up. You’re going to be a star.

50. You from the future has arrived to pass along an important message. What do you hope that message is?
I don’t care; I just don’t want my future self to be old.

51. Do you tend to save money or spend it?
Spend. What’s the point in having money if you don’t spend it?

52. Congratulations! You're going to be a mother/father! What is your gut reaction?
There must be some mistake. I’ve never been pregnant before; now seems like a really bad time to start.

53. Bad news. You have six months to live. Who do you tell and what do you do?
Tell Aryeh; then go on a spree doing everything I’ve ever wanted.

54. Who do you most admire? Why?
Aryeh. What’s not to admire? He doesn’t take sh*t from anyone.

55. Do you have any chronic disorders/illnesses? What are they?
No. I’m pretty healthy, thanks for asking.

56. If you could get away with one murder -- no legal or social repercussions -- would you kill someone?
Probably. Human nature. Power is impossible to resist.

57. In a world where you didn't exist and never had existed, what would be different?
Aryeh would be miserable. Ashton might not have gone through with her pregnancy. The Moulin Rouge wouldn’t have as amazing a dance troupe.

58. Do you drink? If so, what's your "signature" drink?
Do I drink? What don’t I drink, you mean.

59. There's that chore/errand you secretly like. What is it?
Love doing laundry. Love the smell of fabric softener, the feeling of warm sheets.

60. Would you say that you're an organized person?
I get by.

61. Can you dance?
Honey, asking if I dance is like asking a fish if it swims.

62. What are your plans for tonight?
Probably hit up Les Bains for dinner and dancing. I treat myself to dates when I’m not in a relationship. Gotta love yourself if you want anyone else to love you.

63. Do you follow laundry instructions on the tags of your clothing?
Yes. Of course!

64. If you were stranded on a desert island and you could wish for anything (except a boat), what would you wish for?
Endless pina coladas. We’ll call it a vacation.

65. Who has most influenced your life?
My ex-fiancee, Myron. Loathe as I am to admit it, he’s probably the reason I’m the person I am today. We’ve all got that somebody that shaped us into the best and worst versions of ourselves at the same time.

66. Are you a night owl or a morning person?
Night owl. Who is a morning person?

67. What is your favorite fantasy?
Being a star again.

68. Have you ever been mistaken for a celebrity?
Yes, and I enjoyed every moment of it.

69. What is your ring tone?
“Monster” by Lady Gaga

70. Are you selfish?
Yes.

71. Do you sing in the shower?
I used to. Less now.

72. Would you ever try an online dating service?
Do I look that pathetic to you?

73. Describe the worst day you can imagine having.
Dunno. I try not to think about things going wrong.

75. What never fails to cheer you up?
Being flirted with by a cute stranger. Witty banter.

76. Do you use emoticons/text speak when online or texting?
Yes.

77. When was the last time you prayed/meditated?
Hanukkah.

78. Do you work out?
Religiously.

79. What is your favorite outfit?
I have a yellow mini-dress that I LOVE to wear out to nightclubs. I also have the perfect three-piece suit for meetings. Both make me feel like the HBIC.

80. Would you ever play matchmaker for your friends?
Of course!

81. Do you prefer fiction or non-fiction?
Fiction. Tell me a story, don’t bore me.

82. Who is your best friend?
Ashton Michaud.

83. Would you say that you're adventurous?
Very.

84. Can you swim?
Yeah.

85. Do you prefer steak or seafood?
Steak. Seafood is a little too salty.

86. Do you have a "type"?
Yeah. Human, has a pulse, pleasing voice, nice proportions, sense of humor.

87. If the zombie apocalypse happened tomorrow, do you think you could survive?
Psh. Don’t tell me you’re one of those freaks with a bomb shelter?

88. Do you eat your vegetables?
Yes.

89. How do you feel when guests stop by your home unannounced?
Simultaneously irritated and flattered.

90. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
Extrovert.

91. If you could host a dinner party and invite any five people (living, dead, famous, or not), who would you invite?
Grace Kelly, Coco Chanel, Amy Winehouse, Rudolf Nureyev, David Bowie

92. Are you politically active?
I watch the news. I care about some issues – women’s rights, for instance -- but I don’t care about elections that much. Politicians are all the same.

93. Do you have any enemies?
I’m sure I do. You’re a dull person if you don’t have a few.

94. Would you rather get one big/expensive present or a bunch of smaller presents?
One big present. I loved getting a lot of little presents for Hanukkah, but, well… I really just want a perfect pair of emerald earrings.

95. Do you have any superstitions?
Beliefs, not superstitions. Superstitions make me sound like I’m dumb and gullible.

96. What is in the top drawer of your desk?
Gum. Lipstick. Post-it notes. Pen. Day planner.

97. Are you allergic to anything?
Cats. Thank God. I don’t want to be a crazy cat lady.

98. How do you fight? (logic, physical, sarcasm, etc.)
I never get into fights. *smirk*

99. What is your biggest pet peeve?
People who pop in and out of your life at their leisure. If I’m not important enough year-round, I don’t want you when it’s “convenient”.

100. What turns you on?
Being touched – my neck, lips, back, legs. Touching back. I’m very tactile.

101. Of what achievement are you most proud?

Becoming prima ballerina for the Royal Ballet Company.